The rules

There was once a time when we used to have things that made sense. This was not how I had planned on starting this blog. Actually this is no where near what I wanted to do. I had a brilliant idea a couple of nights ago about what to blog. But, like all my other brilliant idea. (for example silverware. I know it's already been invented. But my brilliant idea was to make it out of paper. Well not paper, because that wouldn't work. Well it would work, just now well, and probably not as intended. Of course, I guess that would also depend on how you planned on using your silverware. But I am digressing. The silverware was, actually is, I guess most appropriately will be made out of something burnable. Basically what I want to do is make a form of lightweight silverware that you could take camping, or backpacking, or on some other outdoor activity, that when finished you could burn in your campfire. (I know you are not supposed to have campfires while backpacking, but even so it would be lightweight enough to pack out, until you found an established fire ring, and then you could burn it. Or, once you pack it all the way out you could dispose of it with less concern for the environment, because it would be either biodegradable, or recyclable, or possibly both depending on what it winds up being made out of.) Anyway, It is perfect. Lightweight, transportable, disposable, yet not plastic, or Styrofoam, or anything like that. I suppose technically you could use metal silverware, and wash it, and re-use it, and pass it along to your children throughout generations until the end of time. But I'm a guy, and so I don't think like that. I want to use it, and get rid of it, and then use some more. I thought of this idea a few weeks ago on the annual "men's campout" that would be plenty of material for blogging, if I wanted to blog that kind of thing. (wow I am way to comfortable using blog as more than just a name for where I post. I have got to curb that.) The thing Is that I try not to write about people, or events, or stuff like that. Well that is not the complete truth. I tend to just go where my brain takes me, and follow ideas to the bitter end, or at least until they turn into different ideas. Which makes for plenty long posts, which exercises my typing fingers (basically all of them.) and increases my words per minute, which doesn't do much, except give me another method to compete with my boss if she ever gets off of maternity leave. But I digress again. The whole thing about the silverware, is it needs to be lightweight, and burnable. Yet you still need to be able to cut a steak with it, and not give yourself splinters in the gums because you were not careful where you stuck your fork, or because you tried to cut through the bone in your steak, (or you were cooking the steak in the dark over the campfire, and it's the consistency of a rock.) and so the knife left little slivers of sliver for you to get in your gums and your tongue. Of course the real dilemma here is how do you bring a steak along backpacking. It is possible, they do amazing things with food nowadays. But it isn't a truly enjoyable steak. It's more of a cheap imitation steak that gives you a little mental lift, but disappoints you on a more spiritual and guttural level. So mostly the steak problem would be when you are out camping with the guys, or on a picnic, or fishing, or just don't' trust the silverware in the truckstop you happened to stop at because your children were whining that if they didn't get a hamburger in the next 55 seconds they were going to start singing all 750 versus of "greasy grimy gopher guts" which does not have 750 versus normally, but it has more than you would expect, and with clever repitition and randomization, you can get fairly close if you are an ingenious child with no morals, and a taste for causing trouble. (hang on parenthesis check...1...2 open. Whew) The added benefit of using them at the truck stop, is you can then set fire to them in the kitchen, and burn the place down for a quick escape without paying, which brings the dine and dash to a whole new level. You wouldn't need much either. A knife is mandatory. And you could get away with a pocket knife, because nobody washes those, but eventually after enough steaks, sticks, fish, clothesline, neighbors tires, and other objects you use the knife on, it tends to get sticky. So I prefer to save the pocketknife for it's traditional uses, and stick to cutlery for eating. Then I guess a spork type thing. To be honest I actually think a spoon is completely unnecessary, because I cannot recall ever having soup while camping. AHA...But what about chilly, mister smart guy? Well if cooked correctly, chilly can be eaten with a fork. AHA but what if the wife cooks mister smart guy? Well you just have to train her better. AHA well then why not just have hot dogs all weekend, then you just sharpen a stick, which you can burn later. Stumped...Except that if you are going camping with nothing by hot-dogs, you are missing out on a great steak, and all because you couldn't be bothered to invent burnable silverware. Anyway, yet one of many brilliant ideas I have had that will go nowhere, because while I am good at thinking them up, and can recall them at the most inopportune moments. I just never, get around to thinking of them when I can actually do something.) So since I started on a completely off center not, I believe I should just call it a day, and try again at a different time. Preferably while I am driving, and the truly great ideas come to me. I am sure there is a way to type and drive. Oh sure you could merely dictate, but that does not allow for exercise to the typing fingers, and it lacks a certain style and elegance. But...If you strapped a keyboard between 10 and 2. Why the world could be your oyster. Provided you had no need to read what you were actually typing.